Writing posts about not following through with goals is always hard, but in this case, it’s actually turned into something positive. I recently wrote a post about the Green Smoothie Cleanse I was going to start and how I was basically going to have smoothies for two meals a day, with a sensible dinner in the evening.
Well, what happened?
I could go into my excuses of home repairs and family time, but I’ll simply say that I’ve had a mind shift.
What triggered it?
Besides a love of Jimmy John’s? I’d say the fact that I found some photos of me from high school. My husband didn’t believe that my hair really has been almost every color, including blondish, and I rushed to my old albums to find one of me with blonde highlights:
That’s me on the left. It’s not the most flattering photo (I was 16), but my hair normally looks like this:
Seeing that first photo led me to look at the other photos in my album, and I realized that even though I was 25 pounds lighter then I didn’t really look that different. I can still wear my senior prom dress, after all.
So I made a choice.
I decided that I was going to go back to how I ate in high school. Which is to say, I didn’t really pay attention. I ate what my mom made me for dinner (in this case, I eat what I’ve meal-planned for that day) and then ate what I want when I was hungry. I didn’t plan out “cheat days” or only ate blended up meals for 2/3 of my daily calories. When I exercised, it was walking my dogs, going to the gym after school because I felt like it, or using the swings at the playground near our house.
I trusted my body then to make the right choices for me, so why should now be any different?
I have had such a tight grip on myself about what I eat for so long, making myself feel guilty about every Cheeto I put into my mouth for almost ten years. Do you know how fucking exhausting that is?
I’m tired. Tired of the guilt.
So I’m giving myself a break. I’ll still use MyFitnessPal and even go to Weight Watchers, but I’m trusting my body to tell me when I’m full. I’ve been doing so since Sunday and couldn’t have felt more at peace. I even measured myself (haven’t weighed myself since Saturday, and usually I do daily) and I’ve lost almost another inch total since May 5th.
I’m not going to weigh myself until Wednesday.
Body, you’ve carried me this far. I trust you to make the right choice, especially when it comes to Cheetos.
Cheetos are never a bad choice, btw. #lifetip