I don’t want to turn The Hustle Life into a weight loss blog, but I didn’t want to talk about it again today because it’s on my mind. I promise better articles about productivity and other areas of life improvement are coming.
Last week when I started my weight loss challenge with my friend, it seemed like a breeze. I lost about 3 pounds and happily snapchatted her photos of my protein shakes and fruit.
However, this week is a different story. I’m still eating well, but I’m not happy about it.
In fact, I’m fucking pissed off.
I’m pissed at myself for having to lose
30 27.2 (as of today) pounds.
I’m mad that I can’t just eat Cheetos and fries 2-3x per week and still lose weight.
I hate it that healthy eating doesn’t come naturally to me, that I’ve never taken a liking to kombucha or peppers or even avocados, and that every meal is honestly a struggle.
I’m especially fucking pissed that I can’t eat a hot dog and then work out two hours later without feeling like total ass.
Last week, the realization that crappy food made me feel crappy, so naturally, I want to avoid it, came easily. This week, I am pissed that crappy food makes me feel crappy, because that’s really all I want to eat.
Sure, this could be a good place to reason that the sugar and fat they put into carb-laden foods nowadays are meant to be addictive, and my body is going through some sort of withdrawal.
All I know is, each day is a freaking struggle.
What makes me madder is that this isn’t temporary. I will have to eat healthy the rest of my life, even if I lose the weight I want. Every day, I will have 3-5 times where, I will have to make the (right) choice between Cheetos and an apple.
It just is making me exhausted to even think about. When fast food is so good, and delicious, it makes you forget how shitty you feel after eating them or working out fueled by chips or hot dogs.
So I guess my questions to the universe are….is this anger my addiction to carbs and sugar talking? Will it get better? Will the ends justify the means? Is there some magic diet that lets me eat shit and still be healthy?
If you know the answer to any of the above, let me know.
Photo via Pixabay