I was talking to a colleague today about the terrible things we say about ourselves, after having to sit through a few video interviews I did while I was at Pubcon Las Vegas this year. I was telling her how much I hate my side profile, especially my neck and nose.
I remembered a spot by Dove France that I then passed on to my colleague. I’m leaving it here, I recommend you check it out. There are English subtitles:
Even the spot is old, it’s revolutionary. Hearing the thoughts that you say to yourself out loud by someone else, to someone else, really gives you a shift in perspective.
That brings me to a wider question– would you treat your friends or loved ones that same way you treat yourself?
Chances are, you wouldn’t. I would never dream of telling my closest friends that they look fat today, or that they will never be able to be graceful in social situations. Yet, those are the types of things I say to myself, over and over again.
Where do you go from here?
So even if you acknowledge, like I have, that you treat yourself like the worst person on the planet, what do you do next? I agree that acknowledging is the first step, but if you are used to having that kind of self talk, it’s hard to make a change.
I think the shift really begins at taking a pause when your inner monologue starts to turn nasty, and force yourself to stay something nice to balance it out. It doesn’t have to be completely related to what the negative was about, but it might help because it can shift your perspective. This helps you see what you are complaining about in a different way.
For instance, “I feel fat today. I will always look disgusting” can turn into “I have lost over fifteen pounds, and I’m on a lifelong journey. Not every day is perfect.”
While the process toward better self talk doesn’t instantly get easier, it does get better. I’m on the road toward healthier self talk every day, and with each kind thing I say to myself, I know I’m getting a little better, a little stronger.
Photos via Pixabay